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Broken With the Past

I often have visions of me sitting in a room and getting old
Constrained in a deadly boredom perpetuated to a fault

Staring forward with my eyes but only past lives in my mind
And there are times I wish I had the nerve to split with all my past

Maybe searching for coherence cause I'm just what I am
Hoping there is nothing wrong with my excesses… any excesses… too many excesses

My soul's upset
My ill spirit trails me to the ground
Tormented slumber, wagged by too many thoughts
Faith fades, faith fades

Maybe searching for coherence cause I'm just what I am
Do I ask too much when I say I want to be left alone
What should I do to find some peace?

I wish some people understood they should not ever bother me
Sometimes they should leave me alone
Sometimes they shouldn't break my balls

There are I could be very destructive
I might do great harm if I couldn't vent myself
If only I could outcast the pain I beat inside
My stomach grinds, I barely breathe I,m choking on the ground.

Maybe searching for coherence cause I'm just what I am
If the solution were to leave it all to fate I wouldn't hesitate to put down my arms.

My soul's upset
My ill spirit trails me to the ground
Tormented slumber, wagged by too many thoughts
Faith fades, faith fades

Do my people really love me?

I'd love to resign myself to the sweet and warm stream of this season
…but I can't

Do my people really love me?
I wouldn't have walked through the middle of nowhere
Doubt crawls on every word
Is this the right path?